"Try to exclude the possibility of suffering which the order of nature and the existence of free-wills involve, and you find that you have excluded life itself."
--C.S. Lewis, from The Problem of Pain
The True Way We Become HumanA Lenten Reflection
Andrew Sullivan has a lovely post on belief and suffering.
As much as it pains us, we all know that human suffering is inevitable, and as a Catholic, Andrew points to the Cross as the simple answer to the existential dilemma of one man who was broken by a mere glimpse of a human world of endless suffering unconstrained by even the simplest of moral logic.
As a Catholic, I am reminded of suffering as we enter the Lenten season. Cardinal Ratzinger (now Pope Benedict XVI) said this about suffering in an interview with Peter Seewald:
Anyone who really wanted to get rid of suffering would have to get rid of love before anything else, because there can be no love without suffering, because it always demands an element of self-sacrifice, because, given temperamental differences and the drama of situations, it will always bring with it renunciation and pain. When we know that the way of love – this exodus, this going out of oneself - is the true way by which man becomes human, then we also understand that suffering is the process through which we mature. Anyone who has inwardly accepted suffering becomes more mature and more understanding of others, becomes more human. Anyone who has consistently avoided suffering does not understand other people; he becomes hard and selfish.
In a story I recently read, I saw these words:
"True love is an acceptance of all that will not be.."
Those simple words gave me insight into the world of inevitable suffering, the crosses we all must bear, the love that makes us human and vulnerable, and the faith that enables us to transcend. We only find the fullness of beauty in being alive when we freely participate, unafraid and faithful, in true love for one another.
I am reminded of the Cross when I read the following story:
THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUTIt was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.
While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. I asked him if he had a doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease. As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him. "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is." I had to hold back tears as he left. I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."
True love is neither physical, nor romantic.
True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.
When I am left to navigate the roughest sea with nothing save faith to guide me, my fervent prayer is that I will graciously take up my Cross with the knowledge that I have lived a full life in the way of true love. And like my mother before me, may I still possess the heart and the faith of a little child.
